By the time you reach me I will be so far into imagination that my existence will soon be forgotten. Inspire in me what I need to become successful in life. As I write I feel myself disappear at the same time. Where we laugh at ourselves for being who we are, talk to the invisible man who we love, and become intimate with the only person we know is where we shall find our true self. This face that you see is not really me, nor has it ever been. An illusion is created by every living soul we meet causing the false image to be perceived as true. With my eyes I can see through your eyes and in that split second the illusion is destroyed leaving me with a clear path to follow. In most cases, I choose not to. Slowly, I become aware of what it means to sacrifice my peace of mind in order to advance. As we cannot love without hate, or live without dying, it is impossible for us to be a consistent human being without mimicking another. The solution is almost here, but what else will take the place of this strife? Today I feel trendy and actually fit in where I was an outcast before. In that same day I will become outdated, anti-social, over-popular, and mysteriously quiet. All of these different faces belong to me and I can’t really say which one I would prefer to be always. So in the midst of a crowd within myself how can I really tell who the true “me” is? All in all nobody is who they claim to be. Each and every one of us is guilty of role playing.
April 3, 1997