There are times when I can see nothing. No visions of the future, no happiness from the past, and nothing to be proud of. I am a coward. I am a slacker. I am ignorant. I am afraid of the world as well as myself. Today was interesting but at the end of the night when I found myself alone, for a split second I began to panic. What can’t I learn what I already know? Anything of importance that is gained is forgotten a minute later. I am never in control. I am going nowhere. I am deceiving.
March 31, 1998