There is little time left in the day for me to waste. Creativity is becoming just another chore and what was once believed in becomes a hobby instead of a dream. This nonsense must come to an end. I realize that these times are the most crucial but without confidence and faith all will be in vain. My passage has been brilliant but what good is a mouthful of ideas if there is no one to share them with? I have a plethora of original projects that have been pre-labeled as “long-term” for much too long. My roadblock is technicalities that have to be conquered in a swift burst of energy brought on by a feeling of accomplishment. I refuse to accept the full effects of responsibility. One morning I awoke to a heavy burden resting on my shoulders and instead of fighting it off I kept it there expecting to gain strength. Tonight it sits heavier than before whispering reminders that stand no chance of being forgotten. Ghosts from the past cannot be put to bed but why does this bring a smile to my lips? I know where I have been. This is temporary, a passing in time I shall not carry with me.
September 18, 1998