Another hope is thrown out the window with the rest of the litter. I was really counting on going to Yellowstone this summer but time always seems to speed up at the wrong time. I need to do some serious planning. Have I been repeating myself for the past few months? Why do I feel so stuck? I have only been able to save up about $400 but this will at least get me somewhere. Maybe I should get back in school, but this would require going part-time or quitting altogether, and I need money. My car will be paid off in six months so that will help a lot. Then I can trade it in for a bus and hit the road. Ah yes, my one true dream, or calling. The road changes with each role of the tire. It has been my experience that looking back can be healing, but upon leaving the worst thing you can do is stall. To leave a world of security for the world of the unknown makes no sense, but it is a feeling in the heart that can’t be ignored, and it is not meant to be questioned. Failure is probably my worst fear, but without a rocky terrain we do not get to experience the glory of accomplishment and above all, triumph.
February 9, 1999