I’m back up to six cigarettes a day. My whole family thinks I’ve quit and I haven’t the guts to tell them otherwise. I will quit again this weekend as much as I don’t want to. This morning I went to the dentist and got another tooth pulled. At this rate my diet will be nothing but liquids because I won’t be able to chew anything. Good thing I’m a vegetarian though I still have a tough time with carrots, celery, apples, things like that. My co-workers are always giving me slices of grapefruit, isn’t that weird? They don’t say anything, they just had it to me, nod their heads and walk off. Much to my delight Tina (not her real name, just her American given name) quit yesterday. Did I not mention her yet? About a month ago the once empty desk across from mine was temporarily occupied by Tina. She did that, just moved from one desk to another sharing her messed up conversations with anyone who will listen. She starts telling me that my hair looks ugly down, that I’m too skinny, my perfume smells bad and not to wear it tomorrow because it makes her sick. This woman tore me to shreds and when she was finished, I looked at her, told her not to talk to me again, and then went outside to smoke. I was almost in tears. Tina did that to everyone though, and then she would just laugh about it. Man I’m happy she quit.
March 17, 1999