Have I chosen the right path? Back at work from a four day vacation. I doused myself with cold medication hoping that it would make time go by a little faster. It somewhat worked. Next Monday I am putting in my two week resignation which was supposed to be postponed until the end of December, but I’m sick of this place. My money is being stretched as far as it will go and regretfully I have not been able to put back. Sadness has been lurking over my shoulder and in an effort to overcome this demon I bought a new wardrobe, a bunch of new CD’s, and many other nick-knacks that I found appealing. This splurging has recently come to an end. I think I might have lost focus there for a while but things are getting back on track. Last night I looked up just in time to catch sight of a falling star. It fell so low to the earth’s ground that I have to wonder if my distant neighbors had been crushed. I started remembering the way the sky looked hovering above mountains or the way the stars seemed to move if I stared at them long enough. I remember nights spent at the beach falling asleep on the sand with the lullaby of the ocean soothing my ears. I remembered dreaming about far away utopias and swimming on top of the waves waiting to arrive.
November 10, 1999