Please, Just Fire Me

October 27, 1999


I’m planning on getting back into school this semester. I have already sent off for a grant and for financial aid. One of the big reasons I’m going back is so I don’t have to work. My many bosses have all been hounding me to put in overtime this week but I’m standing my ground. It’s hard enough for me to be there eight hours a day, any more would be suicide. I know there is a build-up of movement heading my way and it carries with it every emotion that I can possibly experience. Whatever happens I’m ready for fear is not going to overtake me this time. My feet have been planted for a seriously long time and although the trip to New Mexico was only two months ago, it seems like it never happened. There was too much stuff to come home to. Even while I was reunited with that enchanting land I still could not let myself be completely free and happy. Going back was hard as I had expected it to be but that inspiration that I also expected was not as prevalent as I had hoped. There was no talk of moving when my friends and I returned. No bond. No conversation about our newfound memories. We each just went back to our daily routines as if we had never left. I remember watching from the back window as we were leaving the mountains of New Mexico thinking about what awaited me and knowing that it could very well be another two years before I return. It’s not just New Mexico. There is so much beauty out there that I have never experienced. I’m going to travel all fifty states and after that I’ll go international starting with Amsterdam.

I heard two owls the other night when I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard. For six years I’ve lived in this neighborhood and never have I heard an owl. They were engaged in a conversation which I can only imagine went something like, “Hey, where are we?” “I don’t know, I was following you.” “Who?”  10/28/99


Author: Lindsay Niemann

Writer | Graphic Artist