I hate not knowing what to expect.
Losing myself to find myself, falling victim to a tired cliché, realizing addiction is mobile, tearing down expectations: these are the elements of my current chemical make-up. Confidence has continued to hold up her side of the deal which has me building my own mountains to climb and eroding away land forming my own trails to follow.
I have plenty of things to say to friends and family back home, my letters are piling up since they have no way to be sent yet, but what do I have to say to myself? Each day I am settling in just a little more, but change is a difficult occurrence for me to accept and even harder for my life-long best friend – she despises this place. Some days are better than others, and others are worse than some. Despite efforts to disassemble expectations, I failed at the art of lying and now let-downs are tumbling out.