Life in Yellowstone has so far been more of a social affair than the spiritual awakening brought on by nature’s art I had hoped to experience. But it’s okay, I enjoy the diversity and “unspoken bonds” practiced in this communal-type atmosphere. It has been quite a while since I last had this many friends. Or are they even friends yet? Perhaps I am confusing casual acquaintances with the sacred and scarce occurrence of friendship. Whatever the case may be, I am making a mental note not to get pulled in to a set clique. I am keeping myself available for all gatherings and trying not to make enemies with those few whom I could very easily reject. Tomorrow I have the day off and I will be spending the free time with my closest friend up in the Grand Tetons. Frayed ends seem to be hemming themselves, and as the stitches begin coming together, I commend myself for making the right decision. Being out here is exactly what I needed. Despite my lack of privacy, unknown forbidden love, a shadowed social position, and a diminishing stash, I know that this is where I’m supposed to be. Sometimes I often wonder if I will ever go home for that might be a step back.
June 9, 2001