And here I am listening to a modern day tribal rhythm trying to imagine myself back in big sky country. Music is becoming my religion as I sink deeper into this zombie-like state. Trying to feel, trying to care, trying to find something in the unavoidable nothing I seem to be surrounding myself in. But life is good despite concern, and youth is no longer taken for granted. Let it go, it’s in your head for you know where you’ve been and there is nothing more to know. Importance can be subtle and perhaps my concentration has been misfocused and in vain. I must learn to enjoy the moment and quit psycho-analyzing every aspect of my existence. When did I become so uptight?
December 27, 2001