If it matters at all, I would like to openly apologize for a cold shoulder. I am not who I used to be, and for me, this is not a bad thing. I have no more patience for dwindling lifestyles that hold no sustenance. You and I used to carry a closeness that seemed destined to survive the long years ahead, but how easy it was to just one day let go. My old friend, what happened? Can I watch you waste away for another year with nothing to keep you happy except pain killers and obligated relations? But I hear you still dream about moving to a plastic land where mountains are hidden behind a thick cloud of smog, but at least she still dreams. Somewhere along the way I seemed to have misplaced sympathy, and not yet ready to have it replaced, I am keeping my distance. Please don’t misunderstand, for I would ask you to come along with me even on this late day, but what would be the use? He has stolen your youth, but that is the least of his crimes, and you are to blame as well. Nowadays, you never want to go anywhere. In an upstairs bedroom you lay behind locked doors giving in to your denied addiction. She is losing.
August 11, 2002