Almost out again and at a loss as to where my next shipment will come from. I hope it will come from somewhere soon. Aware of myself again and much too distracted by the future, I continue struggling to recover my groove. My brain is lazy and polluted with practicality and negativity. Open your mind. Open your mind. Open your mind. Idealism is hard to hold onto. I’ve been trying too hard, but I’m restless, and doubtful, and desperate. I’m too dependent on too many things and constantly feeding my wants and acquired likings, I am now guilty of over-indulgence, which has inevitably led to boredom. I’m bored again.
June 15, 2004