I miss you sometimes. I miss you now, but not enough to call. I still hate you more than I miss you. But life is getting to me again and I need your ear, your always open ear. I won’t let myself go crawling back.
I cried today for a girl I barely knew in high school. A girl who died her freshman year at the hand of her “friends”. I barely knew her, we talked maybe once or twice, but my friends were her friends, and so we were part of the same expanding group, the same exhausted high school clique. It’s a disturbing story, more like something from a teen movie gone bad, like one of those things that happens in a different school with a different group of kids in a different state far removed from my reality. But it happened, and as I age, I can’t shake it, or forget it, or accept it. As I age, it becomes more disturbing and I can’t put it to rest.
In 1993, when I was fifteen (but much older it seemed), I lost most of my friends by standing my ground, and as insane as those years were, I can look back now and know I was right. A true test of morale, individualism, and self, I found my strength when I was fifteen, only to lose it again and again in following years.
And justice never gained…what do we do with that?
I can’t comprehend the pain suffered throughout the world. Starvation, abuse, senseless death, death of a loved one, death in general, murder, poverty, rape, torture, war, death, death, death…
But yet we are still in danger of overpopulating the earth. How can that be possible?