She and I

With a little help from tequila, I confessed my deepest secret to my dearest friend. It came from nowhere, it came fast, it came just in time. Nothing will ever be the same. I remember being a little girl, a preteen, a teenager and wondering if I would ever be able to speak aloud a confession that has only recently been transcribed to the written word. I don’t even know if I love you now. If I had superhuman powers and was able to see the future at my request, I would still have been unconvinced of our outcome, but here I am in my mid-twenties analyzing your worth and assessing my losses. Would your heart break in half if I were to confront you with all the information I have to offer? I grew up in a messed up world, with messed up friends, messed up family, and messed up experiences. Love has been made questionable and I must say that I felt like a hooker in your presence, and what’s worse, that’s exactly the kind of games you play. So screw childhood for this is what I have and you can no longer take, or persuade, or confuse, or molest, or trick, or find pleasure. I am defending the little girl who was never able to find her voice and confess an evil deed that continued on for the better part of her life. I speak for her, and when my voice is weakened by a past friendship that was based on survival, she will remind me of my task. She and I are looking for sustenance and a miracle cure for damaged identities. This world is relentless but I am controlling my assigned vessel and accepting the responsibility of living with the knowledge of how deceiving love can be.

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Author: Lindsay Niemann

Writer | Graphic Artist