My Internal Holy War

Hey Hunter, tell Lyle and Kurt I said “Hi”.

I’ve heard that it says in the bible that anyone who takes their own life will go to hell. I don’t accept that. I can’t.

I wish I could find religion. I wish I could be authentic in my belief and faith, but I’m cynical and ignorant when it comes to religion and Christianity. I scowl at Jesus freaks and roll my eyes when someone thanks God for something good that happens in their life. My family is very religious, but I guess I’m not 100 percent convinced.

On the other hand, I feel that something else has to be out there. Something beyond technology or science. Something beyond myself.

I wish I could pray but practicality gets in the way, and as I go through the motions at family feasts, I feel like a hypocrite trying to cheat…my way into heaven.

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Author: Lindsay Niemann

Writer | Graphic Artist