I can’t stay focused. Everything is coming to a head, deadlines are nearing their end, graduation is relentlessly biting my exposed heals. It’s been a longtime coming, and I wish it would never get here. I wish I was still in high school along with a foreign generation and all the time in the world.
I’m homesick for a home that no longer exists.
A pleasant breeze makes the sun bearable on a day like today. Seagulls fishing down by the lake keep coming up empty-handed and I realize that they are as unsuccessful as me. I should be looking for a job right now, but my sanity has become first priority.
Five some-odd years dedicated to earning a 4 year degree, and now that the goal has almost been met, I’m wondering what the point was. All this time and money spent, but what have I got to show for it? A full bookshelf and empty wallet, a lifetime of debt and a useless resume. Maybe I can make a career out of therapy writing.
Five some-odd-years spent chasing after a bachelor’s degree, and now I find myself chasing after minimum wage jobs, and I can’t even land one of those.
“I have a four year degree, and you’re going to subject me, a college graduate, to a stupid drug test?”
In three hours I have to attend another city council meeting in Kemah, and I have no confidence that I will do a better job than last time. My hate for reporting and journalism has worsened. I really have tried to enjoy, or more to the point, grow a liking for it, but it’s just not working. I can’t picture myself doing this for the rest of my life, wouldn’t want to. But therein lies the problem. What do I want to do when I grow up?
(Screw this pen!)
I’ll tell you what I want to do, Drink Dr. Pepper, smoke a lot of weed, gorge myself on falafel, drink some rum and sleep all day. Yeah, who’s going to pay me to do that? I know, I should have been a musician, but that industry sucks more than the wonderful world of writing. What would Hunter S. do?
College is a joke. $20,000 some odd dollars later and I learned that I was on the right track before I decided to go to college. Work a bad job, and do what you love on the side. It’s a simple concept, but it stands the test of time. I refuse to leave this park until I’m in a better mood, not a good mood, just a better one. I’m slowly getting there.